I started a new(ish) job last week. I say ‘ish’ because five years ago, I did this job. I am the office manager of a physician’s office. When I left five years ago I left on good terms to take a job that was a new adventure (and it sure has been). It turned into something that I not only enjoyed doing but was very successful at. I have never regretted leaving the office and have gained a wealth of knowledge and management skills as the five years have gone by.
Recently, I was asked to go back and be the office manager again. There are some specific problems currently in that office that I happen to be the person who is most qualified to help them through. Unfortunately, over the last few years, this office hasn’t had the best reputation. Without getting into too much detail, there are personalities in that office that at times can be quick tempered, argumentative, and full of drama. And on top of that, the last few months have been a roller coaster ride for this office. They have had staff members leave, hired new ones, lost managers and been through several new administrators. Due to the turnover of staff there has been a backlog of work. The existing staff has dealt with the heavy burden of keeping the office running as smoothly as possible along with training new staff. I believe they all have been at their breaking point at some time or another over the last few months.
So when I was first approached about the prospect of going back to this office I wasn’t all that thrilled. I was promised that once the major issues are fixed and everything was flowing more smoothly that I would have the option to make another job change. To decide what it will be that I want to do next. So after a few conversations with some people I have a lot a respect for and doing some thinking and praying about it, I conceded that it was the right thing to do, for this office, for our organization, and for myself.
My first day went extremely well. And likewise, the rest of the week went extremely well. I couldn’t have asked for a better week. I was a little surprised, because I expected the week to be full of questions and uneasiness. But instead it all went quite well.
Looking back through some old posts that I had never finished or posted, I found this one that I had started before the prospect of this new job was even an idea on anyone’s mind:
Lately I have had rampant thoughts running around my head…among them self-doubt. Why?…That is what I keep asking myself…really, why am I letting these feelings creep in? I really think it has to do with my job. The changes that have happened lately have left me feeling like I don’t really know where I belong or what I should be doing.
A while ago I was feeling like I was doing alright, enjoying my job. Then things changed, I have grown so much in my faith over the last several months, which has been great, awesome, (insert all other great/awesome words here) but work changed too, for the worse. I just didn’t care to be there anymore, and if I could figure out a way to pay the bills and hang out at Church all day I would have done it. The only place I wanted to be all the time was Church. I needed to surround myself with people that were full of God’s joy and love. I was just so exhausted by the constant drama at my job. Anyway, I had to take a step back and realize that I can’t just be there all the time. I have a life to live, I have a job to do living out my vocation as a wife and mother, I have a job that I have committed to do for my employer, and I have go out and spread the gospel of the Lord. Do I still crave being in the presence of Christ? Absolutely. Do I want to surround myself with people that are full of joy and love? Absolutely. So I go to daily mass when I can (thank goodness the town I work in has noon mass three days a week), I try to keep the relationships active with the people who are joy and love to me, and I realize that the other parts of my day may not be what I want them to be, but they are still parts of MY day. They are the crosses that I am being asked to carry right now, and we never know what God has in store for our future.
When I was presented with this new opportunity, I really thought I was getting into something worse. Looking back at my thoughts just over a month ago, I’m not sure I could have been in a worse place. But yet again, God has led me to where I need to be, to where I know I should be.